After last night, I could never be a politician.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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