I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
