so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
