Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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