you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
