so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
