So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Pappa wants mamma naked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
