I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
