Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
