i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I want to fling myself into the sun
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
