Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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