How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
