yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
