I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
