It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
