They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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