I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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