i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
