Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
