i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
third nipple confirmed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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