yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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