so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
