Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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