Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
