He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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