When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
