I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
