i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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