so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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