I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
