its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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