There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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