What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Randomize
