p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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