this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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