so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
