Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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