I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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