you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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