I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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