i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
