Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
