question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
