Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
