i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
