Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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