so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize