I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
