I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
