i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And then my night got REAL pukey
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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