i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
